tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75732200984160539032024-02-06T20:44:00.628-08:00Rambo and Norris Be Beefin'Rambo. Chuck Norris. Beefin'.
Watch as these two sticks of manly dynamite work out their differences with a good old-fashioned public beef.Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-84918828086876408742008-11-25T16:18:00.000-08:002008-12-17T13:11:03.611-08:00DebriefWell, this explains a lot....<br /><br />I've been deep undercover for months, tracing down a lead on Chuckles which turned out to be a dead end (Who would've thought that a street snitch would lie for drug money? Benny, when I get my hands on you...). I'd been wondering if I'd lost my edge, that finely honed precipice of death, when I came across this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Vy7NGsQ1vL5-9H0KQP3s_66v1K8YdLcgN6GTw234n0t3GQuKiMYSkHLRSIGhMQTRRnRf3_NSgCswRAawWOMae1tUwNsEJL8G3HH0B9GTYeNwBjyb8GBMalxSTd-3Mlywf0SO3rmyF3Kq/s1600-h/chuck_norris_facelift"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Vy7NGsQ1vL5-9H0KQP3s_66v1K8YdLcgN6GTw234n0t3GQuKiMYSkHLRSIGhMQTRRnRf3_NSgCswRAawWOMae1tUwNsEJL8G3HH0B9GTYeNwBjyb8GBMalxSTd-3Mlywf0SO3rmyF3Kq/s400/chuck_norris_facelift" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280861828062885026" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Yep. Ol' Upchuck done and got himself a new face. He's undoubtedly part of the Witness Protection Program; you can tell by the quality of the work, which is "good enough for government".<br /><br />Oh, Chuck...Do you really think taping your eyebrows back over your ears and changing your name to "Buck Forrest" will help you to evade me? I can smell fear like Dr. Phil can smell that strange combination of low self-esteem and masochism on his guests.<br /><br />Honestly, some advice? Plastic surgery is better doled out in moderation, like most things in life, EXCEPT NAPALM, WHERE MORE IS NEVER ENOUGH:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mTnVGko2eC4&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mTnVGko2eC4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Whatever face you're hiding behind, I'll find you, Chuck. It's what I do best. Well, <span style="font-style: italic;">now</span> it is, after I left my modeling days behind me in the '80s:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiovYqTnngTl4JVrEU8DxB63ars87wAIki8X5GnCZTGzhKrLnoo6Hxngk2Xgk3627sqnnbMsZ97VxqdtZY1_41NYYUZH6lMdndhsA_wJbi6GC-2WMp7yqMJK2mvfGqgh78Qu8T-3wWWAZ6N/s1600-h/345px-Sylvester_Stallone_(1983)_2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 230px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiovYqTnngTl4JVrEU8DxB63ars87wAIki8X5GnCZTGzhKrLnoo6Hxngk2Xgk3627sqnnbMsZ97VxqdtZY1_41NYYUZH6lMdndhsA_wJbi6GC-2WMp7yqMJK2mvfGqgh78Qu8T-3wWWAZ6N/s400/345px-Sylvester_Stallone_(1983)_2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280868052177222466" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;">The only thing I really miss is the coke....<br /></span></div><br />Now that I have a current picture of you, Chuck, it's only a matter of time. Better spend it wisely.<br /><br />Until that day,<br /><br />R-boRambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-55602702025252782652008-08-15T13:44:00.000-07:002008-08-15T14:28:21.513-07:00Take It Like a WomanWell, since the ol' <a href="http://www.thepat.org/Sportsguy/Sports%20Post10_files/image006.jpg">Roundhouse Rooste</a>r hasn't been showing his face lately, I guess I'll do what I do best, which is TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION FOR MY OWN TACTICAL BENEFIT.<div><br /></div><div>Today, while on my continuing mission of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Information_Awareness">T.I.A</a>., I came across this report (okay, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I</span> didn't; my <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">crew</span> did during breaks from<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_farming"> gold-farming</a>. What? C-4's expensive....), in which a Georgian journo is dubbed <a href="http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/08/15/icymi-the-rambo-of-lady-news-reporters/">"The Rambo of Lady News Reporters"</a> for GETTING SHOT WHILE DOING A LIVE REPORT IN A WAR ZONE. Observe:</div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4eyQ5Maqf80&color1=11645361&color2=13619151&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4eyQ5Maqf80&color1=11645361&color2=13619151&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Having taken (and given) plenty of lead in my day, I can tell you the young lady HANDLED IT LIKE A SOLDIER, continuing her report even as she's being bandaged up. (And, I have to admit, it's kinda flattering to have someone so tough nicknamed after you.)<div><br /></div><div>See, Chuckles? You FINISH THE MISSION, regardless of threat to life and limb. Maybe you could ponder this as you sit around in your multi-colored diaper, trying to reach a "higher state of consciousness" by paying hucksters a "lot of money".</div><div><br /></div><div>Because you can bet your ass that I'll finish mine.</div><div><br /></div><div>Until that day,</div><div>R-bo</div><div><br /></div><div>(I don't really understand what the above designation signifies; it's just what my cyber-crew calls me).</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/08/15/icymi-the-rambo-of-lady-news-reporters/">Link to BWE</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-11377213247997875842008-08-11T14:57:00.000-07:002008-08-11T22:58:09.473-07:00Tool AlertField Report:<br /><br />Well, all available recon points to Chuckles hiding out with his cult, wearing silk diapers in a cave, and waiting for the world to end (which I am equipped to arrange, Chuck, so give me a call...<span style="font-style: italic;">please</span>).<br /><br />Anyways, while I wait for my furry friend to show his chest in public again, I keep my skills sharp with repeated combat and stalking drills, using targets of the douche variety.<br /><br />My recent alternate: Steven "Shiny Scalp" Seagal. Since I can't bring myself to hunt helpless prey, I always choose someone with at least some skill or weaponry (sole exception being reserved for Dr. Phil: you want me to "get real"? Okay, how 'bout I use my jungle boot to "get real" far up your ass?).<br /><br />But, yeah, Seagal's got some training, as this video intel clearly shows:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/herSynqVN3M&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/herSynqVN3M&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />So, if ol' Ponytail and I get into a slapfight, I'll walk away with pink cheeks and hurt feelings. That's okay. I'm man enough to be in touch with my emotions. But him?<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3069/2478613739_dc67e1d9d6_o.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3069/2478613739_dc67e1d9d6_o.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Whatsamatta, Seagal? Are you so bummed that you (in defiance of <span style="font-weight: bold;">all logic</span>) used to boink Kelly LeBrock, and can no longer drink from that fountain of '80s goodness?<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Kelly-LeBrock-Photograph-C12121407.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Kelly-LeBrock-Photograph-C12121407.jpeg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Yo, Kelly: Tease me like you tease those bangs...</span><br /></span></div><br /><br />And if you <span style="font-style: italic;">were</span> being pouty, could we even tell? Sure, some people play it close to the vest, but you have to actually be wearing one. Like I do, is this awesomely manly clip of me in action:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eliQEStzhu4&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eliQEStzhu4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />What else would you wear while skiing under a half-track? <span style="font-style: italic;">Sleeves</span>? Well, maybe Chuck would. His chest pelt probably keeps him warm enough that he could pull it off.<br /><br />It is said that Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits. Yep, he waits for me to INFILTRATE HIS AIRSPACE:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG9ksi1OT66iPd65JeyuRlKtN2guJrtFWuVsjdcJZIfFzngX0PnWU9kYHFUOilyw2wf7Ubyt88IlI12hwi4gvJ3R5AaETNWMhcXY9a_fDUheNWJ6Z-62avx1uVNzZdEU1PlA15lj0dchz_/s1600-h/airplaneDefense_crop.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG9ksi1OT66iPd65JeyuRlKtN2guJrtFWuVsjdcJZIfFzngX0PnWU9kYHFUOilyw2wf7Ubyt88IlI12hwi4gvJ3R5AaETNWMhcXY9a_fDUheNWJ6Z-62avx1uVNzZdEU1PlA15lj0dchz_/s400/airplaneDefense_crop.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5233505859706162338" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Keep waiting, Chuckles. I'm coming.<br /><br />-Rambo, signing off.Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-20597896851225212262008-04-29T20:53:00.000-07:002008-04-29T23:44:30.822-07:00Pails of EntrailsDear Chick-I mean, Chuck,<br /><br />If I could see you, then YOU WOULD BE IN THE <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">CROSSHAIRS</span> OF A RIFLE SCOPE, and if you're shaking your head, IT WOULD BE OUT OF FEAR. Period.<br /><br />Only takes seventeen muscles to smile, huh? Well, IT ONLY TAKES FOURTEEN MUSCLES TO DEPRESS THE BUTTERFLY TRIGGER ON A BROWNING .50 CALIBER, BRINGING DOWN THE FIERY HAMMER OF THOR UPON VARIOUS AND SUNDRY BAD GUYS. Observe (as long as you don't pee yourself):<br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aR-4CZVaD5g&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aR-4CZVaD5g&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Now <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> makes me smile. (You'll notice I used the word "smile", like a <a href="http://www.snoopbloggyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/mr-cool-ice-2.jpg">man</a>, and not a "smiley", like, well, this <a href="http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/smiley_ass.jpg">guy</a>. )<br /><br />And, Chuckles, as far as your little bit of leftover roast beef from the '80s:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioODhjsSNvhYLRZXqe41EqoV0NOK0TzKDaOUVp6SVKh9OorcmJL3LFF-R2IkofuWq7dwWc0Uir0mqbPIkgVHcXK19istCkURJoLVJOT3vKc9QsNhBCDqAQDVr52oZF3ONm28-6wKhZlsqg/s1600-h/et_poster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioODhjsSNvhYLRZXqe41EqoV0NOK0TzKDaOUVp6SVKh9OorcmJL3LFF-R2IkofuWq7dwWc0Uir0mqbPIkgVHcXK19istCkURJoLVJOT3vKc9QsNhBCDqAQDVr52oZF3ONm28-6wKhZlsqg/s400/et_poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194923395872808850" border="0" /></a><br /><br />You are judged by the company you keep. '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Nuff</span> said.<br /><br />-RamboRambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-79247082176285643052008-04-29T20:19:00.000-07:002008-04-29T20:49:40.783-07:00Miles of SmilesOh, John...<br /><br />If you could see me right now, I'm shaking my head in disappointment. You keep thinking that your little taunts can get to me; they can't. You just can't accept the fact that I'm on a higher path than you. I've tried to share that, but you won't receive it (see Chapter 8 of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Totus</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Gnarus</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Soulpath</span> Guide: "Learning When a Mind Is "Closed for Business").<br /><br />I like smiles. I use them as often as I can, online and in real life, too. Consider this little bit of ancient wisdom:<br /><br /><blockquote>It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.</blockquote><br /><br />You see? Smiling is better for you all around. (And more energy efficient!)<br /><br />You know, if we look back, we both had a pretty "<a href="http://yogan.meinungsverstaerker.de/fun/80s1337ness.jpg">rad</a>" time in the '80s. But someone else made a long, long journey in the '80s, just to teach us a little something about ourselves, with the power of his smile:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFQEX9hPKEZ18BxoMIMIIuPk1LAzgT6awnVGAJcP8LH6gmc5eRFPUoU1pLSo4fxIxHeA0jP7TrDZg3Vcs6BhNJdCRQ1kGrM-ogLvX3OH4NRTaAW8ILuEsbphjXtHNuAzFfL9iS3qNM60-2/s1600-h/et2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFQEX9hPKEZ18BxoMIMIIuPk1LAzgT6awnVGAJcP8LH6gmc5eRFPUoU1pLSo4fxIxHeA0jP7TrDZg3Vcs6BhNJdCRQ1kGrM-ogLvX3OH4NRTaAW8ILuEsbphjXtHNuAzFfL9iS3qNM60-2/s400/et2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194879265083842434" border="0" /></a><br /><br />If that can't make you like smiling, John, then nothing will.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Chuck<br /><br />P.S.<span style="font-size:180%;"> :)</span>Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-29769076826928251472008-04-28T12:59:00.000-07:002008-04-28T14:50:17.578-07:00Where Do I Start Barfing First?...'Cause I haven't been this sick since my first bottle of <a href="http://www.beerlabels.com/labels/labels.pl/3474/tiger-beer.html">Tiger Piss</a> in Saigon on r'n'r, '66.<div><br /></div><div>First, let's think about the original phrase: "Sticks and stones may break my bones...". You're damn right they will, because STICKS AND STONES ARE VERY EFFECTIVE <a href="http://www.primitiveweapons.com/hist.html">PRIMITIVE WEAPONS</a>. Perfect for handling a knuckle-dragger like you, Chuckles.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, seriously, again with the smiley face? Now I feel like I have to go blow up a kitten, just to "level out". (My neighborhood's running low on kittens...)</div><div><br /></div><div>You know what you can do with your parachute? The last time I had to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, my chute got hung up, which forced me to cut away necessary combat gear, leaving me in enemy territory with only a knife (and yes, STICKS AND STONES) to defend myself against a superior force. Guess who walked out of the jungle, alive and ready to fight? And guess who was left to rot in smoldering pieces?<div><br /></div> </div><div>I don't need your "patience", either. I have my own brand, forged of combat experience and sweat from John Wayne's corset. I have the eternal patience of a <span style="font-style: italic;">warrior</span>:<br /><blockquote>He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious. - Sun Tzu, The Art of War. c.400-320 b.c.</blockquote><br />I will be waiting, Chuck. And I will be victorious.<br /><br />Toodles,<br />-Rambo<br /><br />P.S. Really, man, ditch the smilies. Along with all of your "shirtlessness", they don't help your image.<br /><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-5181865600861302502008-04-28T12:18:00.000-07:002008-04-28T12:33:01.462-07:00Sticks and Stones, John......And, well, you know the rest. There's nothing you can say to hurt me, John. And, really, when you think about it, you're just hurting yourself.<div><div><br />The 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">nd</span> Tenet of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Totus</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Gnarus</span>: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Patience Is Your Parachute</span>. I'm prepared to be very, very patient with you. I know that your problem isn't really with me; it's with yourself. I feel sorry for you, John. That's no way to live.</div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div>Try being patient, with yourself and others. You may just discover your own parachute. :)</div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5242706,00.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px;" src="http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5242706,00.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /></div><div>-Chuck</div></div>Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-88931481749725940972008-04-27T18:17:00.000-07:002008-04-28T12:17:58.474-07:00Dear UpChuck,'Cause that's what I wanted to do after I saw you use a "smiley" face in your letter. But that's okay, Chuckles. Most guys aren't in touch with their "inner schoolgirl". That just warms my heart like a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_phosphorus_incendiary">white phosphorus round</a>.<br /><br />I'd tell you to man up, but that would be insulting to other <a href="http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB9016-730475.jpg">men</a>.<br /><br />But I'm glad you want to give me a hug. Why, just look at what happened to the last guy who tried to hug me:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FuW0SFHeTS4&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FuW0SFHeTS4&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Which part of his "inner self" do you think he's in touch with now, Chuckles? His larynx, or his carotid artery?<br /><br />I'm going to give you time to contemplate what I've said, and continue gun shopping. Yep, here's a real beaut:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.enemyforces.com/firearms/lr300_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://www.enemyforces.com/firearms/lr300_1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />But don't worry. I picked out one for you, too:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.glamguns.com/hk47.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://www.glamguns.com/hk47.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Enjoy spending time with your "Scrotus Gnarlius" cult, Norris. Maybe if you pay them enough money, they'll show you how to get in touch with your "inner balls".<br /><br />-RamboRambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-42299478866265115562008-04-27T15:27:00.000-07:002008-04-27T16:18:34.729-07:00Dear John...Hi. It's Chuck (no, not "Chuckles", although I did after reading that :).<div><br /></div><div>You know, I'm at a very different place in my life. I'm older, (hopefully) wiser. I've learned that anger is your anchor, holding you back. It's one of the tenets of a new philosophy I'm trying, called <a href="http://totusgnarus.weebly.com/index.html"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Totus</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Gnarus</span></a> (I don't know what it means, but they promise to tell us by the end of week four).</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyways, the idea is to try to get in touch with your inner self, and give that self a hug. You sound like you really need one, John. And that's why I've agreed to meet you halfway, here on this blog. I think I can help you, if you'll let me, and if you can let yourself <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">be</span> helped.</div><div><br /></div><div>Think about it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sincerely,</div><div>Chuck</div><div><br /></div><div>P.S. As for the "high heels", they serve a purpose. Read more about them <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_108064_order-custom-made.html">here</a>.</div>Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-39976393169361358282008-04-27T13:30:00.001-07:002008-04-28T23:11:10.702-07:00PansyYo Chuckles,<div><br /></div><div>Well. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Lawyered</span> up, did ya? <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Rambo</span> works <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">solo</span>.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Like a real man.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div>(In fact, I had ta go look up how to even spell "pansy" in the dictionary, which afterwards I rigged with C-4 to cover my tracks).</div><div><br /></div><div>You're so pathetic, it would make me cry (which I can't, cause my eyes secrete napalm instead of tears). Have you ever taken a look at your "cowboy" boots? That's some heel you've got there. What kind of man wears high heels? ('<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Cept</span> for Prince. Don't ask me why, but he gets a pass.)</div><div><br /></div><div>So your little wet-nurses in three-piece suits told you to face me here. Fine. It's been a while since I've been to a tea party (that I didn't infiltrate in order to kill a high-value target). </div><div><br /></div><div>Consider this gauntlet <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">thrown</span>, Norris.</div><div><br /></div><div>-Rambo</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>P.S. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Pansy</span>....</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>Rambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573220098416053903.post-67813085525055373582008-04-27T12:18:00.000-07:002008-04-27T13:03:10.112-07:00To All Relevant Parties:We, of the law firm of Schmutz, Gaff and Gaff, having been retained as legal council for Mr. Chuck Norris, wish to introduce this web-based log, or "blog".<div><br /></div><div>Recently, the following post was brought to our client's attention:</div><br /><br /><blockquote>I've been gettin' recon about some Chuck Norris guy, runnin' around in cowboy boots kickin' things. So I'll say this just once, 'cause if I repeated myself, the sound of my voice would stop your heart: The only <span style="font-style:italic;">good</span> chuck is <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">ground</span> chuck. Take <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span>, Norris.<br /></blockquote><br /><br /><br />The above <a href="http://www.syncsoundcinema.com/2008/04/survival-training-for-non-linear.html">quote</a> is attributed to one Mr. John J. Rambo. Since our client is, of course, a peaceful law-abiding citizen, we have advised him to engage Mr. Rambo only in the online domain, in order to resolve this particular dispute.<br /><br />This blog will serve as a public forum, wherein Mr. Rambo and our client may work out their conflicts non-violently.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Leon Schmutz, AttorneyRambo vs. Norrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16447772469862748525noreply@blogger.com0